Zrozumienie


EVIE

Myślałam, że oszaleję. Długie strugi światła padały na mnie jak na winną całego zamieszania.

– Czyli mam rozumieć, że jechałam tutaj na darmo? – zapytałam, choć w moim głosie nie było słychać zdziwienia. Przed oczami mignęły mi ostatnie godziny, które musiałam poświęcić na przygotowania, żeby móc punktualnie stawić się na wizycie lekarskiej.

– Nie pani jedyna czeka. – Usłyszałam w odpowiedzi.

Rozejrzałam się po oczekującym tłumie. Czy faktycznie, aż tyle osób szczepi się w tych czasach? I akurat dzisiaj?

– Przepraszam, ale nie rozumiem. Na wizytę umówiłam się wczoraj i została ona potwierdzona w rejestracji.

– Rozumiem, ale pani doktor musi dzisiaj wyjść wcześniej. – Co to w ogóle za wymówka? Skoro są ustalone godziny pracy, a ja musiałam specjalnie zerwać się z wykładu i odwołać dzisiejszą rozmowę o pracę, żeby stawić się tutaj na godzinę trzynastą, jakim prawem moja wizyta ma zostać odwołana?

– Czy mogę rozmawiać z lekarzem?

– Pani doktor teraz ma pacjenta.

Spojrzałam na rozpiskę gabinetów. Doktor Surma przyjmowała w gabinecie numer siedemnaście. Nie była to moja szczęśliwa liczba. Mimo to, stanęłam pod jej drzwiami i zapukałam.

Nikt nie odpowiedział. Miałam jedynie nadzieję, że wizyta nie potrwa długo. W końcu pacjent wyszedł z gabinetu, a ja prześlizgnęłam się do środka przez uchylone drzwi.

– Przepraszam panią bardzo – zaczęłam.

– W czym mogę pomóc? – Uśmiechnięta kobieta spojrzała na mnie serdecznym wzrokiem.

– Moja dzisiejsza wizyta została odwołana. Czy istnieje cień szansy, aby mnie pani przyjęła? – Doktor Surma spojrzała na zegarek i zaczęła przeglądać koperty z nazwiskami pacjentów ułożone na biurku.

– Dobrze. – Mimowolnie westchnęła. – proszę się ustawić w kolejce.

ANNA

Znowu płacz. Wstaję i podchodzę do kołyski, mając nikłą nadzieję, że gdy tylko córka zobaczy moją zaspaną, zmęczoną twarz, zdecyduje się oszczędzić mi kolejnej nieprzespanej nocy. Ona jednak wciąż płacze. Biorę ją na ręce i prowadzę do kuchni, gdzie przygotowuję dla niej mleko. Nie przestając jej kołysać sama zamykam oczy. Nie pamiętam już jak to jest nie czuć zmęczenia.

Gdy w końcu mała zasypia na moich rękach, kładę ją obok siebie, na miejscu, które jeszcze niedawno należało do Marka. Mimo, że co drugie małżeństwo kończy się rozwodem łudziłam się, że nas to nie dotknie.

O siódmej przychodzi opiekunka. Wszystko mam wyliczone co do minuty. Sięgam po torebkę z dokumentami i wychodzę.

Cholerne korki. Próbuję powstrzymać się od rozdrapywania skórek wokół paznokci. Czy te światła nie mogą zmieniać się szybciej?

Gdy w końcu dojeżdżam do pracy dzwoni mój telefon. W pośpiechu szukam go w torebce, ale ten wyślizguje mi się z dłoni i spada na chodnik. Modlę się w duchu, aby ekran nie był pęknięty.

Pękł. Cholera!

Klikam kilkukrotnie na  zieloną ikonkę ,,odbierz”, ale ta nie zaskakuje.

Nagle słyszę dźwięk, który przyprawia mnie o gęsią skórkę. Mój samochód właśnie został porysowany na całej długości przez jadącą taksówkę. Załamuję ręce. Chce mi się płakać. Bezskutecznie klikam na ekran pękniętego telefonu, żeby uchwycić na zdjęciu blachy rejestracyjne odjeżdżającego granatowego mercedesa, ale ten znika za zakrętem.

Rozglądam się wokół w poszukiwaniu świadka zdarzenia lub kamery, która mogła zarejestrować ostatnie minuty.

Wiem, że po pracy spędzę prawdopodobnie cały wieczór na posterunku, więc muszę jak najszybciej powiadomić opiekunkę, żeby dzisiaj została dłużej z małą.

Czuję piekące łzy na policzkach, ale ocieram je wierzchem dłoni. Idąc po schodach, dźwigając na ramieniu ciężką torbę z dokumentami mam wrażenie, że zaraz się przewrócę. W pośpiechu informuję przełożonego o tym, że dzisiaj jestem zmuszona wyjść wcześniej.

Przyklejając do twarzy uśmiech, przypinam plakietkę z nazwiskiem i otwieram drzwi gabinetu numer siedemnaście.

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